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Outsiders...


2005-04-05
I never termed myself a champion of the underdog. I would never stoop to such pretention. I would never either call myself a true underdog. I have never really had a taste for the whole self-victimization thing either. Nevertheless, when there are those who are "in" and those who are "out", I will always lean towards the out. I don't know if that poem about "the road less traveled" did I take to its most extreme or was it watching too many Peanuts movies growing up, but I just know there are people out there that just never quite fit and they will never quite make it. Soem reason, I have hitched my wagon to theirs because I feel that somehow I am one of them too. I feel it is an inescapable portion of me. This has left my alligned with all kinds of sinners and saints. None were ever perfectly matched the the perception them and all of them were irrepairably flawed, but I know, just as we all know, that everybody has some flaws. I just became convinced at somehow treating them, within the confines of our little external existences with the same consideration as those in the "in crowd" recieved. I don't know if I were ever sucessful. I don't even know if most of them knew if I was even there. I have a tendacy of sneaking away while no one is looking but never really ending up that far away from where I was. Even in the class of rejects, I feel for sure that I am the most low. I don't truly belong with them cluttering up there existences. Only when I can be helpful. Only when I can be useful....then it is time for me to go home.
Human grow and evolve. We can be molded. Everyone has been or has known someone who was approaching a new circumstances and nothing about them allowed them to function there, but before long all of the new things become old and much easier. You find that you like things you didn't or capable of things you were and what bothered you before doesn't anymore. For those of the strongest wills, the circumstances mold to them but for most people you become adapted to you new environment. The problem with people with my personality type, is that by indentifying yourself as an outsider so frequently, you fail to allow yourself to mold to your new circumstance. You constantly recognize yourself as someone who shouldn't fit and you simply won't. That simple.
I don't know. I was going somewhere with this, but I got lost somewhere. I am really good with that. A friend wanted me to tag around with her while she looked for her friends new house, but her hopes where that somehow I could help keep her from getting lost. I laughed and after she thought about it she realized her mistake.
well anyway....LATER Ring I belong to: